A Purim Rhyme For 5760

"The Great Latke ~ Hamentaschen Debate"
by Scott A. Gurdin, Rabbi

A few days ago, I took a glance,
at the calendar,
I observed perchance...

... Adar's the month,
with glee to say,
we have arrived --
happy holiday.

A celebration for girls and for boys
yes it's time for Purim noise.

Perhaps you recall,
could be you remember,
that once in March, and again in December,
instead of a sermon, a long drawn out speech
I turn to rhyming, for a lesson to teach.

Each year during Hanukkah,
and when Purim draws near,
a poem I compose
with the hope that you'll hear...

... something fun and light hearted
perhaps you will smile
and then learn a lesson
thoughts provoke for a while.

A custom of old,
the Purim shpiel;
a few clever jokes
just to make us all squeal.

Now this witty idea
perhaps to explore;
but I might suggest
that we do even more.

Instead of a play,
with its humor create,
I've prepared for your pleasure
a Purim debate.

A long argued conflict,
a serious fight,
over which food we Jews
doth derive most delight.

It's long been an argument,
contended at length,
that the great food of Purim
has true merits and strength.

I am speaking no doubt
of hamentaschen -- a great treat;
on Purim, we Jews
by the dozen do eat.

Those triangular cookies,
with filling galore;
we make them and munch them
and still we want more.

Of all Jewish foods
for eatin' and noshin'
none is as great as a
big hamentaschen.

"Now hold on one minute,"
perhaps you might say,
"I beg to differ
and contend right away...

... that there is one other food
that Jews love and do savor
for its wonderful taste
and its delicate flavor.

Observe here the latke,
what a joy to behold,
with its glorious flavor
all crispy and gold.

The latke is famous
for its outstanding taste;
by the plateful we cook them
and none go to waste.

It's possible to argue
one might just contend
that among Jewish foods
from beginning to end...

... it's the latke,
we Jews do in truth most adore
for no number can sate us
we always want more!"

The hamentaschen replies:
"Hold on just a moment;
to respond if I might;
that greasy latke
(if I'm not impolite)

...that greasy latke,
'though it may taste just grand
if you hold it too long
leaves a stain in your hand.

In these days,
when we really
should think of our health,
latkes are lacking
in nutritional wealth.

I'll grant that the latke
is a treat for the lips;
but as soon as one eats it,
it goes to ones hips.

Now me, on the other hand,
if I might just recall,
at least I am not bloated
with cholesterol!!"

Of course, to be fair,
so we won't undercut,
the poor maligned latke
deserves a chance to rebut.

The latke replies:
"Think of the chutzpah
I cannot trust my ear
don't be alarmist
a little fat, never fear.

Mr. Hamentaschen,
is not only rude;
I believe he's pretending
he's some kind of health food.

The truth, on my honor,
I now must reveal,
that only a fool
hamentaschen
would one eat as a meal."

Those three cornered cookies
it's true, they taste good.
One would think,
with good reason
they certainly should!!

They're so laden with sugar
both on top and beneath.
There's enough gooey stuff there
to rot all your teeth.

I may be fattening,
I'll admit that's not great,
but he's no caloric lightweight
in this here debate!"

Now hold on one moment,
my fine tasting friend,
I think we've arrived at this argument's end.

You each have presented
your case loud and clear.
And now our conclusion
I'll indulge you to hear.

Just for the record,
please let me state,
that both of these foods,
well I think they are great.

I won't choose
I won't pick
and I won't referee
hamentaschen versus latke
to whom victory?

Hamentaschen or latkes
the question is why
we cannot declare
the debate is a tie.

Each food is delicious,
a fabulous treat
and each food, we agree,
we Jews love to eat.

And what's more,
these two foods
that we love to fressen
from each we can learn
a valuable lesson.

Latkes are cooked in oil,
it is true,
to remind us that God,
a great miracle did do.

The oil reminds us
of that time long ago
when the Macabees
into the Temple did go.

They searched for some oil
to illumine God's light
but found just enough
to last for one night.

The rest of the story,
you've all heard it told,
that the oil kept burning;
miracle did unfold.

And in remembrance of this,
we Jews like to eat
that delicious, greasy and oily treat.

And the hamentaschen,
so tasty,
it also does teach
that our enemies can't defeat us;
we're beyond hate's long reach.

You see, the hamentaschen
is a reminder of a villain so bad
who resolved to destroy us
with all that he had.

But Haman failed mightily;
and still to this day
His hat we devour,
as if to say...

... Jew haters mean nothing
their memories, we blot out;
when their names we hear uttered
we're commanded to shout.

The evil of old
now confection, we're told,
thanks to courage and Jews' heroics.
No longer to fear
Just relax, shed no tear;
thus have ended the evil one's tricks.

To conclude I'd advise,
a concise compromise
so to end our contested debate:
Latkes eaten in December
Hamentaschen in March, please remember,
Jewish joys, let us all celebrate!!!

HAPPY PURIM!!!